


Champion

by LittleMissSunshine



Category: Free!
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Free! Kink Meme, Gen, Kidnapping, M/M, Nightmares, Olympics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Violence, Wow this sounds really depressing when I look at all these tags together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissSunshine/pseuds/LittleMissSunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from the following Free! Kink Meme prompt:<br/>Several years into the future, Rin has followed his dream and managed to become an Olympic swimmer. Expectations are that he will medal, but with these winning prospects come those who seek to even out their own odds. Just days before the competition, Rin is either attacked or kidnapped by a group who want a swimmer from one of the other countries to win, their intent to disable him or keep him from the race.</p>
<p>If attacked, did someone manage to stop the fight before Rin was terribly injured? Was he still able to swim? If so, did it affect his performance? How did he cope (or fail to cope) with the results? Did it dim his passion or sully his dream?  If kidnapped, how was he treated in captivity? What was Rin's reaction? Was he found in time to make it to the race? How did he cope with the aftermath?  And what were his friends'/family's reactions?<br/>In this prompt, there is no such thing as too much angst. Go as dark (or not so much) as makes you happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Champion

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo...I wasn't really sure what to rate this, but it does have quite a bit of violence in it, including knives, beating, strangling, etc. The M rating is really purely for that (there's no smut involved). Be warned.  
> Also contains strong language.

Rin's water tasted a little funny…metallic, almost.  He frowned at it, towel slung over his shoulder.  _Must be this new bottle_ , he thought.  The entire team had gotten new official water bottles for the upcoming race.  After years of training, they were finally going to the Olympics: apparently, this warranted new water bottles.  And towels, and swimsuits, and goggles, and everything else a swimmer could possibly want.

"Hey, Matsuoka!"  He looked over and saw his friend and teammate, Seijuurou Mikoshiba.  The former swim captain had a smile on his face.  "We're going out for dinner," he said.  "Join us?"

"Nah," Rin said, examining his water bottle again.  "I gotta prepare for the race tomorrow."

"Ah," Mikoshiba said, a tiny smirk playing at his lips.  "Of course."  Everyone on the team knew about Rin's quirky pre-race habit.  The red-haired boy never wanted to see anyone the night before a race: he wouldn't call them, wouldn't speak to them, wouldn't even look at them the morning of.  He needed to focus, concentrate on his own thoughts.  No one knew what went on in Rin's head during those last 12 hours, but it obviously got results: Rin had been winning every race since he started this self-isolation, and he was now a favorite to take home the gold in the 100m free.  He was also expected to medal (at least) in every butterfly race.  He was the hotshot newcomer, the one to watch: the man to beat.

"I guess I'll see you on the starting block, then," Mikoshiba said.  "Good luck: tomorrow's the big day!"  Rin nodded, waving him away.  Tomorrow was the big day: his first Olympic race.

He finished changing out of his suit and grabbed his bag.  As he left the swim complex, he took another long sip from his water bottle.  It still tasted gross, but he was so thirsty that he didn't care.  He got about halfway to the hotel before he started feeling woozy.

_Shit_ , he groaned, leaning against a nearby fence and holding a hand to his head.  He squeezed his eyes shut, praying for the dizziness to go away.  _What's happening to me?_   He'd never felt this way before.  He'd been sick, and he'd been drunk: this wasn't anything like either.  Suddenly, he began feeling weak.  He knew that if he let go of the fence, he'd fall to the ground.

Just before everything went black, he felt someone grabbing him.  Pulling him away.

\---------

When he woke, he was on his knees, his arms tied above his head.  The room was pitch black, and he was naked save for his boxer shorts.  It was cold, and damp; within minutes, he began to shiver.  It didn't even begin to register with him, how much trouble he was in.

Suddenly, a light snapped on, causing him to wince.  A figure stepped out of the blackness, its face covered in a black mask.  Something in its posture sent a cold bolt of fear through Rin's heart.

"Who are you?," he said quietly.  "Where are we?"

The black figure said nothing.  Rin felt whoever it was staring at him through the soulless eye holes of the mask.

"What?," he snapped.  "Why am I here?"  He suddenly remembered the sensation of being taken.  "Why did you kidnap me?," he said more forcefully.  "What do you want, ransom money?  You fucking asshole, I have a race in the morning, do you have any idea who I am?"

Rin only saw the metal bar a split second before it cracked across his shoulder.  He cried out in pain, and for the first time, his heart began to quiver.  He looked down at the ground.

"Who are you?," he asked again, trying to keep his chest from heaving as he winced.  "Why did you bring me here?"

The black figure came closer, knelt down in front of him, grabbed his chin.  Even when Rin looked directly into the figure's eyes…there was nothing there.  He felt his own eyes widen a little in fear.  The figure stared at him with its soulless, black-hole eyes for an eternity, forcing Rin to meet its empty gaze.  With every passing second, Rin's panic grew.  He felt himself begin to tremble as he looked into those twin abysses.  He couldn't speak, couldn't even think: those eyes sucked everything out of him, draining his soul away.

Finally, the figure roughly let him go.  It faded into the dark, and a few seconds later, a TV screen flickered on.  It was showing a news clip of him.  The sudden return of sound, the loud, cheerful chatter of television, made Rin wince.

_So, Rin Matsuoka!  You're the new kid that everyone's been talking about; it's your first Olympics, and you've been taking first in all the qualifying rounds.  How do you feel about your upcoming races?  You'll be going up against the best swimmers in the world.  Think you can bring home the gold for Japan?_

_I'm confident.  If I work hard, I can win._

His own words, his own cocky smile.  The TV flickered off again.

"You won't be bringing home anything."  A chillingly clear voice near Rin's ear made him freeze.  "In fact…you'll be lucky to make it home at all."

The hooded figure appeared in front of him again, holding the metal bar.  Without warning, it hit Rin's torso with a back-handed swing; Rin felt one of his ribs crack, and he cried out in pain.  Tears streamed from his eyes as the bar cracked down onto his shoulder.

"How dare you challenge the country that raised you?," the voice hissed before another blow landed on Rin's hip and made him cry out.  "You ungrateful little shit."  A direct hit to Rin's temple: the room went black for a moment, but he could still hear the voice through the ringing in his ears.  "Those medals belong to Australia," it said.  "And no cocky little red-haired faggot is going to take them away."

A sharp metal clang as the bar dropped to the floor.  Then, a hundred blows, a thousand kicks and punches to every part of his body.  He felt his lip split, his skin bruise.  He could hear nothing except his own injured cries, echoing off every wall.  Blood filled his mouth as he spat out a tooth.  His eye, his nose, his jaw…no place was spared.  Rin was crying, his tears streaking through the blood on his face.  With a final blow to the head, everything went black.

\---------

When he awoke, all he felt was pain.  There was no way to know how much time had passed.  He groaned quietly as he tried to open his swollen eyes.  The blood on his face felt sticky and dry.  His arms were still tied above him.  The hooded figure was gone, and in its absence, Rin quickly forgot his fear.  He knelt there in the dim light for a few minutes, his entire body throbbing.  He shifted slightly and a sharp pain shot through his side: he let out an involuntary moan.

"Hm."  A quiet chuckle near his ear.  "What a little pussy."  Rin bristled at that, forgetting the vulnerable position he was in.

"Let me go, you fucking sadist," he snapped, pulling at the bonds on his wrists.  "I'll show you who's a pussy."

"Ah ah," the voice chided him with a smirk.  "I don't think so."

"You're a fucking coward," Rin spat.  "You won't even fight me face to face."

"You don't want to see my face," the voice said with bone-chilling solemnity.  "No one's seen my face and lived to tell the tale."

"Why?  You're too ugly?"

A hollow, booming laugh, followed by a vicious slap to the back of Rin's head.  The red-haired boy winced as his ears began to ring again.  "Keep talking," the voice taunted.  "See where it gets you."

"Do your worst," Rin snapped.  "I bet the police are out looking for me right now."

"Oh.  You think so?," the voice said, in a way that made Rin immediately think otherwise.  "And how would they know to come looking for you, when no one will even report you missing until tomorrow?  I know all about your little habit, Matsuoka.  We've got _hours_ to play."  Rin's stomach dropped; the voice was right.  Everyone knew that he liked to be left alone before a race.  No one would even think to look for him until warm-ups tomorrow morning.

"Let's watch some old tapes," the voice said conversationally.  "Have ourselves a bit of a laugh, shall we?"  The TV flickered on in the darkness again.  Rin was on screen again, a scene from when he won his Olympic qualifying race.

_Poised to become the nation's pride, Matsuoka Rin is quickly becoming a favorite to win gold in the 100m free.  The bright new star of Japan's Olympic team is also poised to take home medals in both fly events._

The camera cut to Rin, slightly out of breath and dripping wet from his race.

_Matsuoka-san, you're truly amazing!  One of the best swimmers we've seen in years.  How do you prepare for your races?  What's your secret?_

Again, that arrogant smirk.

_If I tell, it won't be a secret anymore._

Mikoshiba was draping an arm around Rin's shoulders.

_Matsuoka's always alone before his races, he said jovially.  Even we don't know what he does._   Cheerful laughter.

Cut to another interview.  _Why do you swim, Matsuoka-san?  What's your inspiration?_

_My father_ , the Rin on screen replied.  A soft emotion was hiding in his eyes as the camera zoomed in on his face.  _His dream was to become an Olympic swimmer.  He died when I was young, and I decided then that I would carry on that dream.  I want to win medals for him, and I also want to win to honor all the teammates who've supported me so far.  If I don't win…I'll be letting every one of them down._   Rin's eyes hardened in determination.  _I'll win because I have to win.  Everyone else_ wants _the gold, but I_ need _it.  That's the strength of my determination.  And that's why I'll win._

Rin's face froze on the screen.  "What a touching story," the voice murmured.  "A young boy, following in the footsteps of his dead father.  It's too bad, really.  It would have made a great headline."  Rin was barely listening.  He could hear his own sincere words echoing in his mind.  _If I don't win…I'll be letting every one of them down._

The tape began to play again.  Rin's swollen eyes widened and his heart went cold: this was an old tape.  No one was supposed to have a tape of this, except maybe his mom.

"How did you get this?," he murmured.

"We have ways," the voice replied, menacingly vague.  "Shut up and watch."

A young, twelve-year-old Rin, running over to his teammates, hugging them and laughing.  The tape had no sound, but Rin could see his own lips moving, everyone laughing.  They all looked happy, ecstatic at their win.  Except Haru, of course; he looked as sullen as ever.  In a flash, all the emotion of that day came flooding back.  The last relay, with the best team he'd ever had.

The tape cut again, to show one of Rin's meets in Australia.  In this one, he finished dead last.  Rin remembered this race very well.  He'd wanted to quit, as he looked at that scoreboard.  He'd felt hopelessly defeated, like everything was out of his reach.  Right after that race, his team captain had pulled him aside and confirmed his worthlessness, telling him that he was being pulled from his races at the upcoming meet in favor of stronger swimmers.  He'd gone back to his dorm after that and cried.  It was happening again, he realized.  Once again, his dream was being snatched away at the very last moment.  And as he looked at that old scoreboard on the tape, he felt that same hopeless hole, widening in his heart again.

"You must have worked hard since then," the voice taunted him.  "I've never seen someone so shitty get to this level."

"Shut up," Rin snarled.

"You know what I think?," the voice mused.  "I think you've gotten too cocky.  You think you're the shit, but you're nothing.  You don't deserve to win."

"Don't you fucking dare," Rin growled.

"I've seen you, in your younger days," the voice went on.  "You have no natural talent.  You work hard, sure, but you don't have that special something.  You, Rin Matsuoka, are an imposter, masquerading as a champion.  And you know it."  The TV snapped off, and the dim lamp snapped off a second later.  The room was pitch black.

"Let's play a little game," the voice said.  Its position had shifted: now, it was coming from somewhere in front of him.  "The rules are simple.  If you scream, you lose."  Rin hissed as a sharp knife cut his outer thigh in the dark, making a long straight gash.

"Do you know how many races you've lost?," the voice said, cutting Rin's thigh again.  "Twelve.  Twelve races, you've come in dead last."  He sliced Rin's side deeply, and the red-haired boy let out a muffled whimper.  "I think you should remember those races, Matsuoka," the voice said.  Another cut; the steel blade pressed hard into the space below Rin's armpit, the very end of it biting into Rin's nipple.  "Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror…I want you to remember them."  The knife bit into Rin's side again.  Then his arm.  Then his cheek.  This cut was the worst: Rin cried out in pain, whimpering as tears streamed down his face.  He endured five more calculated cuts, until twelve gashes marked the right side of his body like the straight lines of a ruler, measuring his failure with excruciatingly painful precision.

"Never forget it," the voice said, walking away.  "Never forget how worthless you are."

\---------

The room was quiet for a long time after that.  Rin was alone in the cold darkness, shivering in pain.  He tried to stay as still as possible, but his muscles could only keep him upright for so long: every time he moved, a thousand stabbing pains shot through his sides.  He had no idea how much time had passed.  Every so often, he fell asleep, but he never slept for long.  It seemed like an eternity, trapped in that room.  No one brought him any food or water.  When the lamp finally turned on again, Rin was dying of thirst.  His parched lips cracked open in a desperate plea: "Please…some water…"

The hooded figure emerged from the darkness, holding a bottle.  But when it grabbed his chin and forced him to drink, he choked; it was vodka.  The figure forced him to drink it; Rin closed his eyes, wincing as the figure doused him in alcohol.  Drops splashed into his cuts, and tears of pain sprung to his eyes.  When the figure let him go, he slumped down, coughing and crying miserably to himself.  He was beginning to think it would never end.  He'd never get out of this alive: it was merely a question of how long they'd drag his torture out.  He wished they'd just let him die.

They left him alone in the dark for hours at a time.  Every once in a while, they'd come back with some new sort of torture.  Each time, it was different.  They broke a couple of his fingers, snapping them clean in two.  They beat him.  Once, they tied a rope around his neck, tightening it just enough to make it scarily difficult for him to breathe.  That one had been the worst.  Rin would panic, hyperventilate, pass out: they'd loosen the rope, wait for him to wake up, and strangle him again.  By the end of that session, he was begging for them to stop, crying and pleading with them through his tears.  He was broken now.

"Please…I'll do whatever you want," he whispered, his head bent forward in exhaustion.  "I'll never swim again.  Just let me go."  He never received a reply.

After hours that seemed like days (perhaps they were days: Rin couldn't tell), Rin felt them untying his wrists and retying them behind his back.  He was so weak that he didn't even bother opening his eyes.

"You missed the race," the voice taunted.  "Too bad."  Rin barely had the energy to care anymore.  A slap to the back of his head only elicited a little moan.  He was so bruised and broken that he didn't have the energy to scream.  A few stray tears leaked from his eyes as someone slipped a black hood over his head.

They pulled him to his feet, but his legs wouldn't support him anymore; they were completely numb from kneeling on the concrete so long.  Finally, they seemed to give up.  One grabbed his arms, the other grabbed his legs, and they carried him somewhere, out of the room.  Rin moaned a little as they shifted his weight; every motion set off a horrible whirlwind of pain.  They threw him into the back of some van and began driving.  Rin passed out a few times, his body shifting in the open cargo space.  Finally, they stopped.  The doors opened, and someone untied his wrists.  Not that it mattered: Rin was so weak, he couldn't have fought them off if he tried.  He could hear crickets humming in the night.

"Always remember this," a voice said.  "Next time, we may just let you die."  He felt himself being lifted again, then tossed onto the ground with a painful thud.  They quickly snatched the hood off his head before boarding the van and driving off into the night.

Rin laid there for what seemed like hours, unmoving.  He couldn't even open his eyes.  He was ready to die.  But as he felt the sun begin to rise through his lids, he heard footsteps coming toward him.  They seemed to notice him and break into a run.  Someone was bending over him, kneeling at his side.  Moving back a lock of his hair in order to see his face.

"Holy shit, Rin!!"  Rin dimly recognized Mikoshiba's voice.  A gentle touch to his arm went unacknowledged.  "Rin, are you ok?"  He seemed to notice all the bruises, all the cuts.  Worry began to tinge his voice when Rin didn't respond.  "Rin," he called, tapping Rin's cheek lightly.  "Rin…hey, Matsuoka!  Wake up.  …Shit."  The former captain shook Rin's shoulder gently, causing him to wince and groan weakly.  "Shit, thank God, you're alive," he breathed.  "Matsuoka, can you hear me?  I'm calling you an ambulance."  Rin heard him pull out the phone and dial, but he passed out before he could hear anything else.

\---------

When he came to, he was lying in a hospital bed, an IV dripping fluids and painkillers into his arm.  Everything was quiet.  In the hazy silence, he heard the voice.  _Never forget._   Without quite knowing why, tears began to slip down his face.  Dimly, he wiped them away.

_The rope pulling tighter around his neck.  Closed his eyes, desperately gasping for air._

A fragment of a memory, come and gone in an instant.

Mercifully, a nurse came in to check his vitals.  When she saw that he was awake, she smiled kindly.  "Good morning, Matsuoka-san," she said gently, a tinge of pity apparent in her voice.  "Are you in any pain?"

Rin shook his head: whatever they were giving him, it was strong.  He couldn't feel anything.

"Good, good," she said in a soothing tone.  "Do you know where you are?"

Rin cracked his lips open to speak: his words came out blurry.  "Looks like a hospital," he rasped out.

"That's right, you're in the hospital," she said.  The kind smile never left her face.  "Do you remember how you got here?"  Rin shook his head; everything was a blur.  "That's all right," she reassured him.  "We'll talk about it later.  Would you like anything to drink?  Perhaps some water?"

"Water," Rin whispered.  "Please."

"Of course."  She went out and came back with a little paper cup.  Rin reached out and took it from her, swallowing the whole thing in one gulp.

"Do you know what day it is today?," the nurse asked.

"No," Rin said quietly.  He had no idea how much time he'd spent, tied up in that room.

"It's Sunday morning," she said.  "You've been here with us since early Friday morning.  Do you remember that?"

Rin shook his head, his thoughts spinning.  _Friday morning…they only kept me in there for three days?  How is that possible?_   It had felt like ten.

"There are some detectives from Japan outside who'd like to talk to you, find out what happened," the nurse said.  "Can I bring them in now?"

"Whatever," Rin sighed.  He was already tired again.  She disappeared again, and a moment later, two detectives entered the room.  One was a tall man, whose frame looked thin but powerful.  The other was a woman, with her hair pulled back gently in a jade clip.  Her eyes were a unique green, and they stood out against her lightly tanned skin.

"Hello, Matsuoka-san," she greeted him.  When she smiled, her entire face softened.  "My name is Detective Sato, and this is my partner, Detective Takahashi.  How are you feeling?"

Rin shrugged.  "Ok, I guess," he said.

"Do you mind if we ask you a few questions about what happened?," she asked.

"Whatever," Rin murmured.

"Ok," she said, smiling kindly again.  "Can you tell us what happened to you, whatever you can remember?"

"They kidnapped me," Rin said, unable to look at the two detectives.  "I think they put something in my water.  It tasted like metal.  When I was walking home from practice Tuesday night, I started feeling really crappy, and I think someone grabbed me."

"Did you see who it was?," Detective Takahashi asked, jotting notes down in his little book.

"No," Rin replied.  "I passed out right after that.  Then I woke up, and my hands were tied above my head.  There was this guy…"  Rin closed his eyes, wincing lightly at the memory of those two black holes.  "…he wore a black hood," he continued quietly.  "I never saw his face.  He beat me up.  There was someone else there, too, but I only ever heard his voice."

"What did he say?," the male detective asked.  "Anything that might give you a clue about who he was?"

"…Nothing," Rin replied after a moment.  "Just…he talked about how he wanted Australia to win the gold."  He looked at them for the first time, sitting up a little.  "Did they?," he asked softly.  "Who won my events?  Do you know?"

The two detectives looked at each other for a moment.  "I'm sorry," Takahashi said quietly.  "I'm not sure."  Rin nodded, sinking back onto his pillows and looking down again.  The detectives seemed reluctant to say anything more.

"What else did you want to know?," Rin murmured, his eyes still distant.

It was Detective Sato who finally broke the awkward silence.  "This voice…did it have an accent at all?"

Rin shook his head.

"And it didn't say anything else to you?"

Rin shook his head again.

\---------

The detectives questioned him for a few more minutes, then thanked him and wished him a speedy recovery.  Almost immediately, Rin fell asleep.  When he woke again, a nurse was adjusting his IV bag.

"Oh, you're awake," she said.  "You have visitors waiting outside, if you'd like to see them."

"Mm."  Rin still felt groggy from the combination of his nap and the painkillers in his system.  "I guess they can come in."

The nurse smiled.  It was that same smile, the one that said, "Bless your heart, you poor dear thing: you've been through so much, but you're still so brave."  "I'll let them know," she said, finishing her work with the IV before exiting the room.  Before long, members of his team were filing in; it seemed as though everyone had come to see him all at once.  As they filed past his bed, they touched his shoulder encouragingly or patted his arm.  "Damn, Matsuoka," they'd say, "You look like hell.  Glad you're ok."  And Rin could hear the pity in _their_ voices, too.  Everyone was treating him like a fragile victim, a broken man.  It made him angry.

"I'm fine," he grumbled finally.  "You guys didn't have to go to all the trouble to come here."

"Of course we'd come," Mikoshiba said.  "You're our teammate.  We were all worried, when you didn't show up."  Suddenly, the room grew tense: they were dangerously close to acknowledging the fact that Rin had missed his races, and no one was sure how to deal with that particular topic.  But Rin knew.

"So who ran my races?," he asked, trying to sound casual.  He looked over to a well-built young man with spiky black hair.  "Kobayashi, it would have been you, right?  And Yamamoto?"

"Er…"  Kobayashi looked awkward.  "Yeah," he said, looking at the ground.  "The coach put me in for the 100m free.  Yamamoto took your fly races."

Rin nodded.  "Makes sense," he said, as though it were a strategic decision that didn't bother him in the least.  "You guys were always right there with me in the times.  You guys place?"

"I took silver," Kobayashi replied.  "That guy from Australia, Wilson…he's fast.  He ended up with the gold."

"I took bronze in both," Yamamoto, a short guy with muscular shoulders, added.  "Australia took gold in the hundred, and the U.S. took gold in the two."  A momentary silence fell.  Rin knew what everyone was thinking: _if you'd been there, we would have taken all three_.

"Good," he said, hiding the guilt that was creeping in.  "I'm glad you guys did us proud."

"You would have blown them out of the water, though," Kobayashi said.  "It's really too bad.  But there's always next time.  You're young.  You have plenty of good years ahead of you.  In four years, you'll be able to beat out every swimmer in the place."

"Yeah," Rin said, looking away.  "Next time around, I'll show them who's boss."  A general chuckle arose from the group, and a sad smile tinged Rin's lips.  They didn't need to know, that in that moment, he never wanted to swim again.

A doctor tried to come into the room, looking appalled at the number of people gathered around Rin's bed.  "Who let all of you in here at once?," he said, clicking his tongue.  "Go on, out.  I need to check on Matsuoka-san."  The swim team filed out, patting Rin on the shoulder again as they passed.

\---------

Rin stayed in the hospital for three days.  Mikoshiba visited most often, but all the members of his team stopped by at least once more to see him.  He got a call from Gou on the second day.

"Onii-chan!!!"  Her frantic voice hurt Rin's ears.  "Onii-chan, are you ok?!?  I just heard that they found you, it took me forever to track down what hospital you were in."

"Ah, I'm fine," Rin groaned.  "Calm down."

"Onii-chan, I was so worried about you!," she said.  "I heard on the news, that you got kidnapped, and I just thought…"  She sniffed.  "…and your stupid teammates weren't answering any of my texts," she went on in angry tears.  "I texted and called Seiji like six times, but he didn't answer!  If you see him, you can tell him I'm not speaking to him.  I knew I should have gone with you guys, I should have just quit my job and gone…"

"You being here wouldn't have stopped anything," Rin said.  "Don't think like that."  He was going to have a talk with Seijuurou after this.  If what she was saying was true, he was being a shitty fiancé, and that was something that Rin _would not tolerate_ , under any circumstances.  He hadn't wanted them dating in the first place.  It had taken a long time for Seijuurou to get into Rin's good graces.  The two of them had been on friendly, even brotherly terms for a couple of years now, but Rin would drop all that in a heartbeat if the man mistreated his sister in any way.  A little whimper from the other end of the phone pulled Rin out of his smoldering anger and back into his reassuring, big brother attitude.

"I was so worried about you," she sniffed, audibly trying to keep her tears in check.  "I kept thinking, if something happened to my onii-chan…"

"Gou, don't cry," he said more gently.  "I'm really fine, ok?  You don't have to worry about me anymore."

"What did they do to you?," she sniffed.  "How come you're in the hospital, if you're so fine?"

"I'm just a little banged up," Rin reassured her.  "A couple of cuts and bruises.  I broke a couple of fingers, but they'll heal.  I'm _fine_."

"That's _really_ all it is?," Gou asked.  "If I find out you broke your leg or something and didn't tell me, I'm going to be so mad at you…"

"That's really all," Rin said.  "Well…my rib's a little fractured, and I think I lost a tooth.  But that's it."

"Oh, ' _That's it,_ '" Gou mimicked.  "Onii-chan, I can't believe you.  ' _They broke my bones and knocked my teeth out, but oh, that's it._ '"

"It's not like I've never broken a bone before," Rin said, rolling his eyes.  "They break, they heal.  Nothing to get worked up over.  And the tooth I lost was in the back, you can't even tell it's gone."  It was amazing, how easily he could fall right back into his normal pattern with Gou.  How easily he could forget the extenuating circumstances and start bickering with her like they were still kids.

"Whatever, onii-chan," Gou said.  Rin could hear her rolling her eyes right back at him.  Her next sentence, however, was more sincere.  "I'm just glad you're with us again.  I was really worried."

"Well, you don't have to worry anymore," Rin said.  "I'm ok.  Everyone's taking care of me here.  The doctors say I'll probably be able to fly home in a day or two.  I'll let you know.  Ok?"

"Ok," Gou said, sounding a bit more reassured.

"I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok.  Bye, onii-chan."

Rin said goodbye and hung up the phone.  About half an hour later, Seijuurou dropped by.

"Hey, Matsuoka.  How's it going?"

"You haven't been taking my sister's calls?  What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I lost my phone!"

\---------

On the last day, he finally received the visitor he'd secretly been hoping to see.

"Rin."  The black-haired boy came forward and gently laced his fingers in Rin's.  "I flew out when I heard you were here."

"You didn't have to come all this way," Rin murmured.

"Oh, shut up," Haru murmured, leaning down to kiss the side of Rin's forehead.  "I can't believe you didn't even call me."

"Well, it didn't exactly occur to me, when I was lying here doped up on painkillers," Rin growled.

"I was worried.  Scoot over."  Rin moved slightly to the side, and Haru moved onto the bed, lying down next to him and carefully wrapping him in his arms.  "I was watching the Olympics," the black-haired boy murmured as Rin returned the embrace as much as he was able.  "Watching for _you_.  And you didn't show up for your race.  They were saying something about you were sick, you were having a mental breakdown…they didn't know where you were.  Now, they're saying you were kidnapped."  His hand found Rin's hair and began to stroke it softly.  "Is that really what happened?," he asked quietly. 

Rin nodded.  "They drugged me the night before the race," he said softly.  "Kept me locked up until the races were over, so I couldn't win."

"It looks like they beat the shit out of you," Haru murmured.

"I'm fine," Rin replied.  "No permanent damage."

Haru continued quietly assessing Rin's injuries.  "They broke your fingers?," he asked quietly, noticing the splints on his other hand.  "And all these bandages…"

"It's _fine_ ," Rin protested.  "I'm fine, Haru."  The black-haired boy cuddled up to him gently.

"Ok," he said.  "I'm glad."  His hand came to rest on Rin's chest lightly, so as not to hurt him by pressing on his bruises.  "I'm glad you're ok."

\---------

Finally, Rin was discharged, and he flew back to Japan with Haru.  He didn't want to stay for the closing ceremonies, and everyone understood why.  The reporters were waiting for him everywhere, asking for an exclusive story about _what really happened_.  Rin refused to give it to them.  He tried to ignore the flashing bulbs, documenting his every cut and yellowing bruise, but it was hard.  He found himself cringing into Haru's side, just a little.  The black-haired boy gave all the photographers glares, but said nothing.  He wrapped a surreptitious arm around Rin's back and gently guided him through the crowd.  When they reached the car that was waiting for them and finally shut the door, Rin curled in on himself a little, and Haru held him until they reached the airport.  The red-haired boy was shaking lightly, although he himself couldn't have said why.

More reporters waited for them at the airport, but thankfully, security forced them to stay outside.  Once they were in the terminal, they were free.  Haru bought them a couple of sodas, and Rin sipped his through the straw as they waited to board.  For some reason, it made him feel a little less shaky.  Once he was in his seat, he took a heavy duty sleeping pill and slept for the entire 13 hour flight.  He woke about 30 minutes before landing.

Only after they got home did the nightmares start.

The night they arrived, Haru cooked Rin dinner, and they ate together before cuddling on the couch.  They just wanted to be near one another, after all that had happened.  Haru didn't press for any details about his time in captivity, and Rin didn't offer any.  He just wanted to forget it.

But in the middle of the night, he woke up, gasping.  He hurled himself from the bed and stumbled into the bathroom, barely able to contain his sobs long enough to close the door.  He didn't want to wake Haru.

He fell to his knees on the cold tile floor, curling in on himself and crying with his fists clenched against the memories.  He was shaking so hard that he could barely draw a breath.  Each one came out a shuddering sob.  He felt like throwing up.  He felt like dying.  He cried as quietly as he could, until all his tears dried up.  A horrible silence fell in the house, marked only by the sound of a chirping cricket.  Just like the one he'd heard that night.

When he found the strength to stand, he picked himself up and splashed water over his face.  He could see that sharp cut on his cheek, red but healing.  A permanent reminder, right below his miserable, haunted eye.

\---------

A few nights later, when Rin's bruises were largely gone, Haru quietly slipped his hand beneath Rin's sleep shirt while they were getting ready for bed.

"Do you feel ok today?," he asked, stroking Rin's side gently.  Rin knew what he meant.

"My rib's still a little sore," he said, sounding slightly apologetic.  "Maybe in a day or two."

"Ok," Haru said lightly, kissing Rin's scarred cheek.  "I just miss…you."  Rin actually smiled a little, feeling Haru's warm body pressing lightly against him.  No matter what, it seemed, Haru would stay by his side.

_Twelve year old Rin, initiating the group hug.  "If I don't win…I'll be letting every one of them down."_

He shook his head a little to dispel the fractured memory.  He shifted his focus to Haru, who was pressing against him, hugging him at the waist.

"Haru?," he said cautiously.

"Mm?," Haru mumbled, his face half-buried in Rin's shoulder.

"…I love you."  The light pleading in his tone made Haru look up at him with those deep ocean eyes.

"I know," he said.  "And I love you."

"…You really do?"

This made Haru pause.  "What's wrong with you?," he asked, examining Rin's face a little more closely.

"What?  Nothing," Rin covered quickly.

"You're being weird."

"I'm not being weird."

"You're being a little weird."

"I'm not," Rin snapped.

Haru sighed and nuzzled back into Rin's shoulder.  "Whatever," he mumbled.

That night, Rin had another nightmare.  The bone-chilling voice was still echoing in his head when he woke.  He could practically feel every kick, every punch, repeating themselves over again.  He ran to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet.  He was drenched in a cold sweat, his shoulders shaking.  He clung to the toilet bowl, trying to shut out that voice.

_Never forget it.  Never forget how worthless you are._

\---------

Finally, after a couple weeks, Rin felt well enough to have sex with Haru again.  The black-haired boy was a little more gentle than usual.  Afterward, when they laid together, Haru's finger began to trace Rin's straight, measured scars.  By now, they'd all healed over, showing deep red on Rin's milky skin.

"They're so regular," the black-haired boy murmured to himself.  He touched them gently, as though trying to count them.  "I wonder why."

Rin said nothing.

"And there's twelve of them," Haru went on quietly.  "Like a ruler, almost."

The two of them were silent.  Haru moved a little closer, but Rin was busy trying to fight off a memory.

_"Do you know how many races you've lost?  Twelve.  Twelve races, you've come in dead last."  A sharp slice into his side._

He gasped and startled away, sitting up, his breathing suddenly ragged and his eyes wide.  He looked down; Haru's finger still hung in the air where it had touched Rin's scar.  The black-haired boy looked stunned, confused.

"Sorry," Rin covered.  "Shiver.  Quit touching my side."

"Oh," Haru said, lowering his hand.  "Sorry."  Rin carefully laid down again, and Haru nuzzled into his shoulder.  The red-haired boy tried to relax, but now his nerves were set on edge.  He couldn’t stay still any longer.  He sat up and got out of bed, leaving Haru behind.  He went out to the kitchen and paced a few laps around the room before going back to bed.  After that, they went to sleep.  Haru said nothing.

\---------

"You want to go to the market with me today?"

Rin looked up from his position on the couch.  "Why?," he said.  "Can't you do it yourself?"

Haru rolled his eyes.  "Of course I can," he muttered.  "I just thought maybe you'd like to get out.  Since you haven't left the house in over a month."

Rin's eyes narrowed.  "I have so."

Haru gave him a skeptical look.  "Whatever.  Come with me."

"Fine.  Whatever," Rin said as he stood up.  "If you're really that needy, I'll go to the mart with you."

Haru rolled his eyes again.  "Yeah, _I'm_ the needy one," he muttered under his breath.  Rin pretended not to hear.

He slipped his old swim jacket on over his tank top and his baggy sweatpants.  Haru was right: he hadn't been out of the house since he'd come back from the Olympics.  He just hoped there wouldn't be any reporters still hanging around.

They stepped out of the house, surreptitiously hand in hand.  No one paid them any mind.  They walked the three blocks to the market and roamed the aisles at a leisurely pace, selecting meats, fruits, and vegetables for the week to come.  There were only a few other people in the mart, all old women pushing shopping carts and haggling over the price of fish.  No one even looked at them.

They walked home, each carrying two bags.  Rin began to feel more relaxed: he hadn't even realized it, but his muscles had been tensed the entire trip.  Then, right as they reached their front walk, a reporter jumped out of the bushes next to Rin.  The red-haired boy yelped, dropping his bags and latching onto Haru like a frightened child.  He was shaking, his entire body gone cold in fear.  Haru was stunned for a moment, but when the reporter kept pushing to talk to Rin, his eyes narrowed.

"Leave him alone," he said coldly, shielding Rin with a protective arm.  The red-haired boy was crying softly, clutching Haru's sleeve.  Haru gently led him inside; he left the bags Rin had been carrying out on the sidewalk.  Rin was now a quivering mess, not quite able to understand that they hadn't been coming for him, that he wasn't in any real danger.  "Rin, it's all right," Haru said, "It was just a stupid reporter."  He seemed shocked at the violence of Rin's reaction, but he was trying to do the best he could to deal with it.  "Hush," he said, hugging Rin gently to his chest.  "You're ok.  You're fine."  After a minute, Rin seemed to calm down a bit, but he was still trembling from head to toe.  When he pulled away from Haru, he saw the concern in Haru's eyes.

"It's ok," Haru said quietly.

"…I know," Rin said, his voice quivering a little.  "I…I'm just gonna go in the other room for a little bit.  Maybe lie down."

"Ok," Haru replied gently.  "I'll go get the bags from the walk?"  Rin nodded, and they parted for a moment.  Rin went into the bedroom and wrapped himself up in their big fluffy comforter, shaking miserably.  He felt so embarrassed.  Of course he was safe.  Of course nothing was going to happen to him.  He felt stupid.

After a few minutes, Haru came in and sat wordlessly at his side.  Neither spoke.  Haru laid a hand on Rin's knee gently.

"Are you ok?," he asked softly.

"Fine," Rin replied in a whisper.

"You don't look fine."

Rin said nothing.

"Do I need to be concerned about this?"

Rin shook his head.  "It's fine," he said.  "He just startled me.  That's all."

"…Ok," Haru murmured.  "Just lie down for a little bit.  Until you feel better."  Rin nodded.  Haru stood up and kissed Rin on the forehead before leaving the red-haired boy alone.  Rin laid down on his side, still hugging the comforter around him.

\---------

Two months, and Rin's injuries had more or less healed.  His bruises were gone, his broken fingers and ribs healed…the only marks left were the twelve straight scars.  Physically, it was almost as though the kidnapping had never happened.  But Rin still had nightmares, almost every night.  He was constantly waking up in a cold sweat, running to the bathroom to break down in tears or heave into the toilet.  He always thanked God that Haru was a heavy sleeper.  The black-haired boy never woke up.

As a result of these episodes, Rin was exhausted.  He found himself snapping at everyone who came to visit, even Haru if he'd had a particularly bad night.  One day, Seijuurou showed up at their door.

"Matsuoka…how are you doing?," he asked once they'd seated themselves in the living room.  "You look better."

Rin nodded, taking a sip of the tea Haru had brought him.  "I'm basically better," he said.  "My bones are healed.  I'm off the pain meds.  I'm doing pretty well, actually."

"That's good," Mikoshiba said, sipping his own tea.  "That's good."  He paused for a moment to set his cup down.  "You think you'll come back to the team soon?," he asked.  "I mean, not to rush you or anything.  Of course, you can rest as long as you need to.  You don't have to worry about them kicking you off the team or anything like that.  But we'd sure like to have you back at practice."

Rin couldn't meet Seijuurou's honest eyes.  "I don't know," he said quietly.  "I might take a few more weeks."

"That's fine," Mikoshiba reassured him immediately.  "That's totally fine.  I just wanted to see where you were at.  No rush."  He chuckled to himself.  "I mean, we've still got four years, right?  A few weeks shouldn't make much of a difference."

"Hm," Rin nodded noncommittally.  He had no desire to go for the gold again; thinking about it made him queasy and sick.  He didn't even want to get back into the pool.  If he was being truly honest with himself, the only thing he wanted to do was disappear down a dark hole and live the rest of his life there, away from everyone.  But he didn't know how he could ever tell anyone that.  He didn't know how to tell them that this one, isolated incident had completely taken away his desire to achieve, to win…even, sometimes, his desire to live.

"Well…I have to get going to practice," Seijuurou said, standing up.  "I just want to stop by, see how you are."  Rin nodded.  "I'll see you soon, ok?," he said.

"See you," Rin replied quietly.

"Thanks for the tea," Seijuurou said, directing his comment to Haru, who was standing in the doorway.  Haru gave him a nod, and he left.

The black-haired boy came into the living room and sat down at Rin's side.  "A few weeks?," he murmured.

"Yeah, a few weeks," Rin said, a slight edge to his voice.

"But you're better."

"So what?  I'm just not ready to go back yet.  I'll get there when I get there.  Quit bugging me about it."

Haru frowned a little, but said nothing.

\---------

A few weeks passed, and Seijuurou came by again.  Rin had had a particularly torturous night the day before.  He'd had not one, but two nightmares, both centering on him being strangled.  He was still a little shaky when morning came.  So when Seijuurou dropped by, completely unannounced, Rin wasn't exactly in the best of moods.

Haru was the one to let him in.  "How's it going, Matsuoka?"  Rin was huddled up on the couch in a blanket.  He hadn't even showered yet.

"Fine," Rin said grumpily.  He turned his attention back to the TV.  Seijuurou seemed to notice Rin's less-than-stellar mood and decided to proceed with caution.

"What have you been up to, since I saw you last?," he asked.

"Nothing," Rin said, obviously not in the mood to talk.

"He's crabby today," Haru murmured as he brought in some tea.

"I, uh…I noticed that, yeah," Mikoshiba replied.  "What's wrong, Matsuoka?  Something going on?"

"No."

Seijuurou scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  "It's, uh…it's not because Gou and I set a date for our wedding, is it?  Because I thought, you know…you and I talked about it…"

"That's got nothing to do with it," Rin snapped, wrapping the blanket around himself a little tighter.  "I'm happy for you guys."

He didn't sound very happy, but Seijuurou took him at his word.  "Ok…good," he said.

"Drink your tea," Haru muttered, tapping Rin on the shoulder and offering him a mug.  Rin eyed him with a bloodshot glare, but he reached out and took the cup: the mug shook in his hands.

"So, um, anyway…"  Mikoshiba could obviously tell that whatever he had come to say wasn't going to go over very well.  "…some of the guys were wondering when you were thinking of coming back."  Rin glared at him.  "Once again, not like there's any rush," Mikoshiba said quickly.  "They were just curious.  You think maybe…a week?  Two weeks?"

"I'll come back when I come back," Rin snarled, standing up suddenly and throwing his mug on the floor a few feet in front of him.  "Quit coming here and asking about it."  He stalked out of the room and went to his bed, creating a cave for himself beneath the covers.  His eyes began to tear up at the thought of going back to the pool, back to training.  He felt like such a fraud.

He felt someone touch his back gently through the sheets.  "Rin?"  It was Haru's voice.  "Seijuurou left.  I think we need to talk about something."

"No, we don't," Rin said.  "There's nothing to talk about."

Haru was quiet for a moment, but Rin felt the black-haired boy settle down next to him on the bed.  Haru's hand began rubbing his back, making gentle, easy circles in the space between Rin's shoulder blades.

"Something is wrong with you," Haru murmured.  "It's been wrong since you missed your race.  And you need to tell me what it is.  If you say 'nothing' again, I'm going to slap you.  Tell me what the problem is." 

Rin stayed silent.

"I know you haven't been sleeping well.  You look exhausted."

"Well, then I guess you already know what's wrong," Rin growled irritably.  "Why make me tell you?"

"Why haven't you been sleeping well?," Haru asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad."  At this, Rin pulled the covers off his head so that he could shoot Haru a glare.  The black-haired boy glared right back.  "You heard me," he said in his quiet, deadpan way.  "Too damn bad.  I don't want to talk about it, either, but you obviously need to talk about it, so talk about it."

"I _don’t_ need to talk about it," Rin snarled.  "The last thing I need to do is talk about it."

"Bull _shit_."  Haru was getting angry now, his eyes narrowing.  "This is exactly your problem.  You think you don't need to talk about anything, that you can just solve it yourself, but there are some things that don't work like that.  You were like this when we were seventeen, too, but we _both agreed_ , that we needed to make an effort to share things with each other if we wanted this to work.  It's not easy for either of us, it's sure as hell not _fun_ , but it needs to be done.  So talk.  Get it over with."

They glared at each other for a tense moment.

"I can't deal with this," Rin growled.  He sprung up from the bed and leapt over Haru, practically running out of the room, out of the house.  He heard the door slam shut behind him, but he was already halfway down the block.  He sprinted down the sidewalk blindly, forgetting that he hadn't showered, that he was still in his pajamas.  Tears clouded his vision, but he kept running.  He turned corners randomly, pushed past anyone who got in his way.  He just couldn't deal with…anything.  He needed to escape, but he couldn't.  No matter what he did…there was no escape.

He had no idea where he was when he stopped running, weak with exhaustion.  He collapsed against someone's fence, panting.  As he tried to catch his breath, he began to cry.

_Why am I so weak?_

That horrible, cold voice came back with an answer.

_You, Rin Matsuoka, are an imposter, masquerading as a champion.  And you know it._

He collapsed to his knees, crying into the sidewalk with complete abandon.  He kept thinking that the tears would stop, that they had to stop, but fresh waves of sadness kept breaking over him, overwhelming him again and again.  His lungs began to ache, but he couldn't stop sobbing.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder, and his head snapped up: Haru was there.  His blue eyes glimmered like the calm, sad ocean.  "Rin," he called gently.  "It's ok."  Rin shook his head, looking utterly forlorn.  How could Haru ever understand?  Nothing was ok.  He didn't see how it ever would be.  "It is," Haru said quietly, rubbing his shoulder lightly.  "You just have to trust me on that for now."  Rin's lip trembled, and he lowered his head to the ground as he began to sob again.

"Hey, hey," Haru murmured, draping an arm over Rin's back.  "Shh.  Come on.  Let's stand up and get in the car."  He carefully helped the sobbing red-haired boy to his feet and led him over to the open door of their SUV.  Rin stumbled into the back and collapsed onto the seats, still crying miserably.  He let his tears drip onto the fabric as Haru drove.  It took them a long time to get home, but Rin was still crying when Haru pulled into the driveway.  Somehow, Haru got him out of the backseat and into the house, guiding him to the bedroom so that he could lay down.  Rin curled up on top of the sheets, clutching them as he continued to cry softly.  Haru got onto the other side of the bed and sat with Rin while he cried; Rin knew that Haru was still there behind him because, every so often, he would feel a gentle hand caress his hair.

"I keep having nightmares," he confessed suddenly.  Haru's hand paused mid-stroke, fingers still twined in Rin's hair.  The red-haired boy sniffed.  "I can't…s-stop thinking about…what they did to me…"  He began to tremble with the effort of keeping himself together.  "You don't know, but I wake up every night and…"  Rin swallowed hard, a leftover tear spilling onto his cheek.  "…and I go into the bathroom and…have a breakdown, after each one.  And I'm so tired, Haru."  Speaking the black-haired boy's name made a few more tears leak from his eyes.  "Sometimes, I hear them, and…I just don't want to do anything anymore.  I don't want to swim anymore."  He began to cry in full: finally, he'd confessed his most embarrassing secret.  After a minute or so, he noticed that the black-haired boy still hadn't said anything.  "Are you even listening to me?," he asked tearfully.  "I tell you something like that, and you don't even say anything?"

"I'm listening."  Something in Haru's quiet voice made Rin roll over to look at him.  Haru's ocean blue eyes looked heartbroken.

"Don't look at me like that," Rin murmured, turning over again.  "I know I'm pathetic."

"I don't think you're pathetic."  His fingers glided through Rin's hair again.  "…Do you want to talk about them, your nightmares?  Would it help?"

"I don't know," Rin said softly.

"What's the worst one you have?"  Haru's question was gentle and undemanding.

Rin hesitated a moment.  "I never told anyone about this," he said, barely more than a whisper.  "But when they…"  Tears flooded his eyes at the memory.  "Once, they did this th-thing, where they…"  He swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice from wavering.  Saying it out loud made it feel more real, more scary.  "..They s-strangled me, until I-I…p-passed out…and then, they let me wake up, and then just strangled me again…over…and over…"  He sniffed: his whole body had begun to tremble.  "That was the worst thing," he moaned quietly.  "And that's wh-what the worst nightmares are about."

Haru kept stroking his hair quietly, encouraging him to continue with open silence.

"And I keep hearing, the things they said to me," Rin murmured, a tear dripping from his eye and running down his nose.  "I never told anyone about that, either.  Sometimes, I just hear his voice again, like he's there, saying it to me."

"Saying what?," Haru asked quietly.

"… _You're an imposter masquerading as a champion…and you know it_ ," Rin quoted in a barely audible voice.  His eyes blurred with tears, so he closed them.  A few tears overflowed.  "You know these scars, on my arms and stuff?  You know why there are twelve?  That's how many races I've lost, come in dead last.  They knew that.  I don't know how they knew that."  He was shaking lightly again.  "That's all I see, when I look at my scars.  How shitty I am."

Haru was quiet for a moment, but when Rin declined to speak further, the black-haired boy offered a few spare words of comfort.

"But you _are_ a champion," he murmured, stroking the hair on Rin's head.  "Even they know it.  Because if you weren't a champion, they wouldn't have bothered to kidnap you in the first place." 

Rin's eyes opened a little.  He hadn't thought of it that way.  Suddenly, everything was cast into a different light.  The room was dead quiet as the true implications of this began to sink in.  After a moment, Rin sat up and turned to look at Haru.  A sense of profound relief flooded through him, and he leaned in, touching Haru's cheek as he went for a passionate kiss.  He lost himself in kissing Haru's lips, feeling lighter than he had in months.

"You're right," he whispered, holding Haru's neck as he nuzzled his forehead against Haru's.  "You're so right."  He felt tears dripping from his eyes again; he hadn't thought he'd had any more to shed.  "Haru, you're so right," he murmured again.  His arms slipped around Haru's neck, and he held the black-haired boy gently.  How had he known, that this was exactly what Rin had needed to hear?  Rin kept wondering this as he gave Haru's neck a gentle kiss.  _How did you know, Haru?_

"I know," the black-haired boy replied simply.

\---------

A couple of weeks later, Rin walked into the swim complex, his swim bag slung over his shoulder.  The massive building had once felt like his second home, but now, it seemed oddly unfamiliar.  The locker room was empty, so he had total privacy when he changed into his jammers.  It felt strangely intimate, the Nylon/Lycra sliding over his skin, covering the scars on his thigh and conforming to his body like a glove.  He slid his swim cap on over his hair; as he did, he saw the scars, scaling his side like a fading red ladder.  Instead of turning away, he stood in front of the mirror, forcing himself to look.  These were his scars.  He had to accept them.  They were a part of him now, just as his failures were part of him.  But they did not define him.  At least, that was what his new therapist had told him.  He took a deep breath before exiting the locker room, goggles in hand.

One by one, his teammates began to take notice as he walked toward the end of one of the lanes.  Seijuurou was the first to approach him, catching him just as he reached the pool's end.

"Matsuoka!," he said, smiling kindly.  "I didn't know you were coming back today."

Rin felt guilty.  "I know," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.  "And…sorry about…the last time I saw you…"

"It's ok," Seijuurou said, waving Rin's apology away.  "I understand.  You were in a bad place."

"Yeah," Rin murmured.  _That's the understatement of the century._

"I'm just glad you're back," Seijuurou said, slapping him fondly on the shoulder.

"Yeah, good to see you again, Matsuoka."  A few more of his teammates had gathered around, smiling too.  He could feel their eyes roving awkwardly over his scars, but he let them look.  None of them seemed to know how to broach the subject, so they didn't ask.  All they said was, "Welcome back."

Rin smiled a little, a bit of his old cockiness coming back into his eyes.  "Thanks guys," he said, moving past them.  "Let's get to work."  He moved to the end of an open lane, ready to feel the water again.  He pulled his goggles on, snapping the strap on the back of his head before lowering himself into a starting position and diving in.

\---------

_Epilogue: 4 years later_

_Lights.  Sounds.  Buzzer.  Go._

_A lightning minute, and it's over._

_A thousand flashbulbs light his radiant, genuine smile._

_Rin is perfectly at ease, standing on the podium in the number one spot.  He accepts his third gold medal and flashes a V-sign to the cameras before the Japanese anthem begins to play.  He stands proud and tall, feeling every bit the champion he is.  The whole world can see the scar on his face, but he doesn't mind.  When the anthems have played and the press has seen its fill, Rin steals away for a private moment alone._

_In the locker rooms, it's quiet.  Everyone else is outside celebrating, but Rin and Haru find a subdued celebration of their own.  They'll join the world in a little while.  Haru's fingers lace in Rin's, and they kiss, with nothing but Rin's shining gold medal between them.  Rin caresses Haru's face with every bit of love and passion he possesses.  Nothing can touch them now.  Rin is on top of the world._

_~~~~~_

_"Matsuoka Rin!  With your dramatic kidnapping just before the last Olympics, we weren't sure we'd ever get to see you here in the Olympic Stadium.  You had every reason not to come back, but here you are, the proud owner of three gold medals!  You've made one of the most spectacular and heart-warming comebacks in Olympic history.  How does it feel?"_

_"It feels good.  Right."_

_Laughter.  "As always, straight and to the point!  Now, Matsuoka-san, I'd like to ask you something, a question that I think all of our viewers have been wondering about.  Those first few months after your kidnapping…you've said before that during that time, you were right on the edge of giving up your Olympic dream.  What gave you the push you needed to get back into the pool?"_

_"Haru.  My boyfriend, Haru."  A pause, and a tiny smile.  "He encouraged me to get back up and believe in myself again.  He's the reason I still swim."_


End file.
